Moon’s Gravitational Pull Drops a Doozy: New Zodiac Sign Dates

New Zodiac Sign

If you can’t afford an electric cigarette-smoking psychic like Camille, you read horoscopes. I happen to think zodiac signs can be pretty accurate as far as insight into someone’s personality. For example, I tend to gravitate towards Sagittarius men and Aquarius females like myself. Now, thanks to the millennia-long effect of the moon’s gravitational pull on the Earth, everything’s being thrown into a cosmic blender on “Power Burst” speed. I don’t know who to like anymore…

Today, FoxNews reported Parke Kunkle, board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society said, “When [astrologers] say that the sun is in Pisces, it’s really not in Pisces.”  Why? Because over the last 1,000 years, there’s been a one-month bump in the alignment of the stars. Uh-oh. “We’re off by about 10 degrees or so, a twelfth of the way around,” Kunkle says.

What does this mean? Well, the StarTribune offers this calendar to be the real zodiac sign dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18- May 13

Taurus: May 13- June 21

Gemini: June 21- July 20

Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

Based on this chart, I guess I have to divorce the hubby because he’s no longer my adored, quirky, witty, wild Sagittarius, he’s an Ophiuchus. Excuse me? What the heck is that?!? It’s the only sign discarded by the Babylonians, because they wanted 12 signs per year instead of lucky 13. Great, now I have to be married to an Ophiuchus and be anti-Babylonian too. Drats.

More importantly, this makes me a Capricorn. I don’t wanna be practical, prudent, patient and reserved. I like being an Aquarius. Original, inventive, independent, unemotional and detached. That’s what I’m good at.

So how does this newfangled chart change your sign? For better or worse?

Image: TattooMeNow