Hi. I’m Your Baby, and I Want this Stuff for Christmas.

I’m the sweet, innocent, adorable little light of your life – your princess – and I have needs. Just like you, I desire the finer things in life. A nice crib to yell in. Gourmet foods to spit up. Soft diapers to poop in. Plush friends to boss around. Miracle creams. So this holiday season, here’s my list of demands suggestions that might make me smile. Then spit up.

Dress me in designer duds. My drooling babbling classmates look up to me as a fashion icon. I may be small in stature, but my sense of style is revered throughout the block and possibly the neighborhood. Play dates call for something sporty yet comfortable like this Juicy Couture Baby Velour Tracksuit. It’s only $98. I’m really fond of this Gucci Baby Sneaker for $228. I can already envision quietly taking one off while I’m in the stroller and losing it the very first time I wear it. Fun! And when it gets chilly outside, please keep my tiny feet warm in $50 Baby Erin UGG Boot – pink, of course.

When it comes to the nursery, I’d like Bratt Decor furniture because that’s what J.Lo’s twins have in their room and I’m so much better than they are. Even combined. I want the Chelsea Sleigh Bed and that’s about $1,500. But don’t worry, if there’s ever a huge winter storm and we get snowed in, I can lead us all to safety in my bed. The Discovery channel swears this will happen in the next 100 years. And don’t you dare sleep me on a normal crib mattress. I need a $999 Natural Mat, just like Halle Berry’s kid has – because it’s eco-something. Best of all, it looks like the inside of a Snackwell Cookie. Mmmm…cookies.

We all know German engineering is best. That’s why I’d like a mountain of Baby Dior Silicone Pacifiers. They’re only $45 each. I will lose one every on the hour for about three days. Then I’ll have a whole bunch to play with and then – POOF! – they’ll all disappear again. I’d love to tell you how I perform this trick, but then I’d have to kill you. Sorry. I also need quite a few Baby Dior Crown Baby Bottles – anything with a princess crest on it, you know.  It’s odd that you’re paying $45 for a plastic bottle that isn’t labeled BPA-free. It’s not even glass. Oh, I get it. Ha-ha. Those Germans crack me up.

If you must carry a diaper bag, please don’t make me cry by toting a Looney Tunes monstrosity. You may choose a Petunia Pickle Bottom Chocolate Cherry Cake Society Satchel because the name totally defines everything I love. Chocolate, cherry, cake, society and well…okay not satchel, but you get what I’m saying. This is the only bag I’d like to be seen with, especially in the mall where I might run into one of my cronies/friends/enemies, so just deal with it. Oh, it’s $325.

Let’s see where we stand, shall we? I’m just a baby so my math may be off, but it seems like your grand total is $2.1 million. Okay, now let’s discuss the thread count of my blanky…

If your baby could make a ‘Wish List’ this holiday season, what would it be?

Five Delicious Diaper Bags Under $400

Today’s fashionable diaper bags are turning heads around town. High-end designers are catering to mommy and baby by giving them stylish meticulously crafted bags that scream, “I am NOT a childish baby bag!” Unfortunately there isn’t a $10k Hermes Birkin diaper bag yet, but MommyQ thinks you’ll find these five little gems just as yummy.

Juicy Couture Canvas Baby Bag – Featuring classic casual styling with a pinch of fun, the Juicy Couture diaper bag even has sweet treats inside like a coordinating bib, burp cloth and changing pad.  Yummy! $375

Kate Spade Bleeker St. (Henry Bag) – MommyQ has never really loved Kate Spade, but don’t let that stop you from checking out this subtle classic. With all of the appeal of a modern diaper bag, you get a funky animal print liner and matching changing pad. Now that’s more like it! $385

Fleurville Lexie Tote – Moms just love the Fleurville line of diaper bags because it takes functional luxury up a few notches. Featuring green Lam fabric and green faux leather, this bag adds a touch of safety to an already awesome tote. Sturdy and stylish, your Fleurville bag will last long after the diaper changes. $165

Petunia Pickle Bottom – The “Cake Society” name makes you laugh and the bag makes you cry. Cry tears of deliciousness, that is. This one-of-a-kind baby bag has become a coveted tote for moms everywhere. Chic and functional Petunia Pickle Bottom is top of the mark. $325

Caden Lane Hobo Bag – If you truly want a diaper bag that really looks like a great purse, the Caden Lane Hobo Bag may be exactly what you’re looking for. The chocolate brown exterior with muted gold studs gives the bag a dash of interest, without going overboard. The inner lining pattern options are adorable and all of the clear pockets help you find what you need in a flash. Very affordable at $150.