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Tag: parenting humor
What do Parenting, Reoccuring Dreams & Mean Santa have in Common?
Did you know the big, lovable guy who goes by name of Santa Claus actually has a mean side? Well, he does. According to my dad, that is. Yesterday, I heard a story from my father that I’ve never heard before. And that’s pretty unusual since he’s in his 70s and I’m in my late 30s. You’d think I’ve heard them all by now.
We were talking about dreams, because my youngest son is complaining about nightmares, when dad told me this hilarious story. When he was 6-years-old, he had his tonsils removed. He said as soon as he went under with ether, he had a horrible nightmare about Santa Claus. Santa chased him, beat him up and threw him off a cliff onto a pile of sharp rocks.
Now that drea is slightly more interesting because my dad is Jewish. No, you don’t need to analyze him and send me a thesis paper about it. What’s crazy is many years later, when my dad was 15-years-old, he had his appendix removed. As soon as he went under the ether again, bad Santa was waiting for him. In fact, Santa said something like, “You’re back?” He said those are the only two times he’s ever had those dreams.
I’ve always been quite interested in dreams and have lots of books about dream interpretation on my bookshelf. I’ve talked about them with The Stir too! My sister and I have talked about dreams a lot and we actually have the exact SAME reoccurring dreams where we open our mouths to talk, and our teeth start spilling out.
My son actually laughed about the dream too and teased my dad about bad Santa. Of course, we reassured him (my son!) that was only a dream and Santa is actually a very nice guy. Hanukkah Harry, on the other hand, he’s a little bit mischievous. I guess my son already knows this because a few weeks ago he woke up complaining about a nightmare about dreidels! Go figure.
Emoticons Make Me Feel Really Old
I always thought I was cool enough to hang with everyone else, even people 10-15 years younger than me. Well, my coolness theory was busted wide open a few weeks ago when I saw a glossary of emoticons online. It’s not the animated emoticons, just the simple text ones you can make with parenthesis and symbols. You know, modern day hieroglyphics. I looked through it and realized I knew two of them, Smiley Face and Wink Face. Seriously? How sad is that?
Read my funny post on Babble, Emoticons for Dummies: Skip the Fail Face and Get Smiley Face!
My impending old age is no longer years and years away. Remember when you were a kid and 30 seemed like grandma status? Well, I’m on the verge of being 10 years older than grandma status. Does that make me a great grandma? My sad emoticon fail made me wear a Fail Face :& in disgust. Maybe I should just trade in my BlackBerry for a pair of knitting needles and start wearing slippers around the house in 100 degree weather.
What has happened to you recently to make you think your cool days are over?
Top 5 Reasons Kid Shows Make Me Wince
I wrote a post this week over on Babble’s blog, Family Style: 5 Kid Shows that Won’t Annoy You. Yes, my beloved penguins made the list. That show might have the best one liners since Seinfeld. Believe it or not, this wasn’t an easy list to create. Let’s just say it was far easier to list the shows I don’t like, as opposed to the shows I like. There are a few things about kid shows I just can’t stand:
1. – Men wearing tights. I find this totally ridiculous. What happened to normal pants? Why in the world does a grown man need to jump around and dance for an audience of small children wearing nothing but a smile and thin layer of spandex? If you know, please enlighten me.
2. – Characters with mismatched outfits. I understand these shows are all about bright colors and carefree attitudes, but why must the characters wear a pink top, orange socks, purple shoes, green shorts, etc. It really starts to bug me after the first 10 minutes. I keep wishing for a “makeover” episode where the character gets a new look and they burn the bad clothes in an animated inferno.
3. – Cartoon animals with tails. Have you noticed the Wonder Pets character, Tuck (the turtle), no longer has a tail? I won’t elaborate, but when he stands up and walks around, it doesn’t look like a tail….
4. – Puppet people. Oh, the downright freaky, puppet people. These cartoons feature a mixture of real people and people in puppet-like costumes. It doesn’t bother me in shows like Sesame Street because all of those characters are fluffy and lovable. In the newer shows, these characters are creepy and unnerving. If one of them rang my doorbell, I’d surely grab a weapon.
5. – Tricking us with yelling disguised as singing. You might be able to fool a toddler, but adults know the difference. Just because you can be really loud and read lyrics, doesn’t make it a song.
On the flip side, want to see which kid shows I love? Hop over to Family Style! I’ve listed five educational, unique and witty shows that won’t make you wince at all. 🙂