What’s In and Out for Spring: 5 Fab Fashion Predictions

“OUT” – Elastic Ballerina Flats
Are these still hot? Really? Still? Come on, people. How long must we deal with embellished, scrunched, elasticized flats? No matter how expensive or cute you think you look in them, they are like Robeez for women. Sashay on outta here! You’re nothing better than a glorified gymnastic shoe.

“IN” – Bondage Pants
I really hope this trend started by Rag & Bone catches on this spring. The Bondage Pant is a snazzy pair of jeans with zippers up the back of the leg, so they can be cinched super-skinny. And for those donut days, you can unzip them to give your jiggle some wiggle room. I’m all for a skinny nation and if we can’t actually be thin, let’s all fake it in 2010.

“OUT” – Peep-toe Ankle Boot Flip Flops
I’ve never fully understood the infatuation with this shoe. Flip boot? Boot flop? Your ankles can be warm and snuggly, yet your toes are free to wiggle and roam? And what makes them even worse is the ridiculous price tag. You’d think because half of the boot is missing, the price would be lower. Happy trails, you unsavory halfling!

“IN” –  Huge Chunky Necklaces
I hope spring brings more enormous, multi-stranded, chunky necklaces with all of the charms, trinkets, beads, bells & whistles possible. Nothing makes me happier than jewelry with substance. I love the way these heavy necklaces add drama and interest to any outfit. It’s nice to see designers are finally embracing Flavor Flav’s vision of beauty.

“OUT” – The Botox Bunny Nose
Ladies, the right amount of Botox looks magnificent. But there is such a thing as overkill, right? The difference between a flawless face and a frozen robot is about 50 units. It’s like two syringes too many. I’ve never seen it on the women I know personally, but I have noticed said “bunny nose” on many female celebrities. Due to the unnatural lack of muscle movement in the face (caused by years of too much Botox), the nose starts to crinkle like a bunny, yet it just creates a while new patch of weirdo wrinkles. I know it sounds silly, but take it slow when it comes to shooting your face full of Botulinum Neurotoxin.

Cat Peeing Outside Litter Box: Reality Teaches Mommy A Lesson

Like most families, we had furry children before we had real children. We got our two kitties about nine years ago. One is huge & fluffy & not too bright, while the other one is just plain fat & grumpy & very intelligent. Over the years, we’ve had issues with Big Fluffy peeing outside of the litter box. It turns out, he has had bladder infections. You’d think I’d know that by now…

A few months ago, I was cleaning the dining room and noticed a familiar foul odor. Cat pee!!! Ahhhhh! If you have ever had a cat that peed on the carpet, you know this is a horrible ordeal. You can never fully get rid of that gross smell and once a cat smells it on the rug, he will pee there forever.

I instantly blamed Big Fluffy for this pee fiasco and took him to the vet right away. It turns out he DIDN’T have an infection. What?! Tell me it isn’t so! The vet uttered those scary words, “It means it’s a behavioral problem.” Oh super. Trying to figure out the behavioral issues of a cat is like trying to figure out why old people care about the cost of a cup of coffee. $1.35? Why that’s highway robbery!

Anyway, I’ve tried every kind of trick to get them off the carpet. New litter boxes, lavender litter, new locations, bribery, crying, begging, etc. Small victories here & there, but nothing has worked. I was entertaining the idea of some kind of motion-activated scarecrow for the dining room and then I spotted the true crime being committed. It wasn’t Big Fluffy cat at all. It was Angry Fat Cat. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Angry Fat Cat may be angry and he may be fat, but he ALWAYS uses the litter box.

Today I finally took Angry Fat Cat to the vet and he has small crystals in his urine. All this time I was ignoring him and blaming Big Fluffy. I feel like a horrible cat mom. We got his meds and he should be feeling better in a few days. Hopefully the random pee attacks will cease as well. This has taught me a valuable lesson I can apply to my real children. Don’t blame anyone until you see the crime being committed with your own eyes. You may think you’ve got those little personalities figured out, but you don’t. And I have about 2 feet of ruined carpet to prove it!

MommyQ ‘s Top 10 List of Toddler Replies

stewie

As you know, toddlers talk A LOT. And they are funny! No, he’s not as well-spoken or as diabolical as Stewie – thank goodness. In addition to  “please” and “thank you” and “you’re welcome,” we’ve been hearing some other amusing responses to our questions and comments.  Here’s my Top 10 List:

1. – “Mine!”

2. – “Me too!”

3. – “I want sumpin’ else.”

4. – “No, I hold it.”

5. – “Mama, get me more juice? More juice? Juicy? Juice?”

6. – “No, I busy right now.”

7. – “In a minute.”

8. – “I all done.”

9. – “Mommy? Mama? Mom? M-O-M?  Dada? Daddy? Dad?”

10. – “I wanna wear racin’ shirt.”

What are the funny little phrases you hear from your kidlet constantly?

MommyQ Getting A Makeover

mq-makover

It’s official! MommyQ will be getting a makeover in 2010. Well, not really a makeover. It’s more like a bloggy face lift.

I’ve discovered that I have a variety of audiences who like different parts of my blog. Some of my mommy friends are all about the baby gear and children’s clothes, while others are only interested in the eco-friendly finds. And then there’s my favorite audience – the gossipmongers! Believe it or not, some of my readers just want to dish about celebs and indulge into my mommy musings. How fabulous!

You will no longer have to scroll and scroll and scroll. (Of course, you can just use the “search” box to find what you want.) Topics will be listed in nice little categories on the homepage. MommyQ is getting organized in ’10.

I don’t know exactly when the makeover will take place, but I’ll keep you posted. If there are any topics you want to see more of or less of, now is the time to leave a comment!

Why Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions Are Lame

Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

It’s my favorite time of the year – New Year’s resolution time! The motivation, the lies, the despair. Who doesn’t love making resolutions, only to break them within a few hours?  Thanks to the folks at USA.gov, we know the Top 10 most popular New Year’s resolutions. Let’s take a look and see if they make sense. Feel free to share your 2010 resolutions with MommyQ!

1. – Lose Weight – Surprise, surprise. Now I realize there are people who make this resolution and stick to it – like 6%. Good for you! But if you’re really and truly overweight, why would you wait until the first of the year to do something about it? Why not skip the McDonald’s drive-thru in July or October? Omit those morning donuts in April. You can avoid the crowded gyms if you don’t start going with the rest of the fatties in January.

2. – Get Fit – Yes, if you go see Nine you will want to get fit ASAP. There is just something alluring about body parts that don’t jiggle and abs that don’t wiggle. If this is an item on your list for 2010, start small and work your way up. Focus on two areas at a time and then add a new one. By the end of the year, you will be able to do Bowflex commercials. 

3. – Manage Debt – 2010 might not be the best year to do this one. Google “economy” for a lengthy explanation.

4. – Save Money – See resolution #3

5. – Get a Better Job -This is a myth because there is no such thing. All jobs are the same. You might make more money initially, but after a few months in a cubicle you will want a new job. You won’t like your boss, you’ll want more vacation time, you will get annoyed by your colleagues, etc. Just do yourself a favor and stay where you are. The grass isn’t greener. (I love all of my jobs, but I’m just extremely lucky!)

6. – Get A Better Education – This is a GREAT resolution. In fact, not lame at all. This is far more important than losing weight or getting fit. Go back to school and help us rid society of idiots. Lord knows we have way too many of them.

7. – Drink Less Alcohol – I find this to be quite ludicrous. Why drink less when you can drink more? If you want to avoid resolutions and feel good about yourself, start drinking. Happy drunks rarely worry about dropping a dress size. Drink away your worries and problems like the rest of the world. Who needs to go the gym at night when there’s a perfectly good bottle of wine in the fridge?

8. – Quit Smoking Now – Yes, by all means! I don’t smoke and never have, but I know it’s a bad habit that needs to be broken. Try the patch or go get hypnotized. Whatever you need to do. Remember, by cutting out this resolution you can achieve #4 and pursue #7.

9. – Reduce Stress – Good luck with this one. See resolution #2. If that doesn’t work try #7.

10. – Take A Trip – This is a Top 10 resolution? Are you kidding me? I haven’t been in an empty airport lately, the interstates boast plenty of traffic and hotels seems busy. Doesn’t that mean people are taking trips. If you aren’t at home, you’ve gotta be somewhere.

Wishing all of my readers the best, most glorious & prosperous year ever! Thanks for joining me as I navigate the wild world of motherhood. You make the journey fun and worth all of the effort! ~MQ

MommyQ is Loving The Land of Nod

reading-tentI’ve gotta blog about my holiday shopping experience with The Land of Nod because it has been a pleasure. In my recent post, “Moms, what’s under your tree?” I mentioned that I bought the Home Sweet Play Home reading tent for one of my kids. I saw it at a friend’s house many months ago and loved it. My oldest kiddo loved it too and played in it throughout the afternoon. I made a mental note – “Get this for Christmas!” Believe it or not, my brain remembered.

I ordered the Blue Home Sweet Play Home and the cushion online. The website said both items would arrive by the 24th. I was a little bit worried, but the items arrived in plenty of time. When I took the cushion cover out of the box, I noticed the directions said to wash it before use. When I unzipped the cover to find the washing instructions, I was pleasantly surprised. The directions ended, “Do not dry clean. Do not pass go. Sleep tight!” Well, that was such a clever little treat. Making laundry fun – what a novel idea!

Last night, I put the clean cushion cover on the cushion and was so impressed with the fluffiness of it all. This is one luxuriously fluffy cushion! The play tent is beautifully made and it is quite stunning in person. I am so thrilled with this purchase and only hope it is as pleasing to my child on Christmas morning.

Find the tent online at The Land of Nod for $99 and the matching cushion for $49. It also comes in lavender, pink and green.

Mommy Versus The Crayon

crayonsTo make a long story short, I lose. There. I just blew the ending for you. You’re welcome.

As you can imagine, my kiddos got a hold of the crayons and found some serious wall space. Yep, they drew all over the wall upstairs in the playroom. Oh my, what a mess.

I know it’s not a huge surprise as these things happen with little kids and crayons all of the time. I guess I’m just surprised because I mistakenly thought we had made it through that wall-scribbling era without a problem.

Nope, they just waited and waited until the time was right. Luckily, one of the drawings was a huge jet that started at one end of the wall and went all the way to other end. And it’s magenta! What fun. All I can say is I love my Clorox Wipes more than ever.