According to my source (SaraGNYC), Rebecca Gayheart and Eric Dane are to be bringing home their new baby girl in a pink Little Giraffe baby blanket! The luxe, ultra-soft blankies are available at Nordstrom for $62. These new parents join other celebrity fans of Little Giraffe like Gwen Stefani, Nicole Richie, Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Jennifer Garner, and Jaime Pressly.
It’s been a while since I dished on celebrities and that makes me frowny face. It seems that any spare time I have to watch E! or flip happily through the pages of People are long gone. Between life as a mom and wifey, work, blogging and running some kind of weirdo cat sanctuary, my know-it-all-ness about vapid celebrity factoids has deteriorated. Well, that’s all about to change as I take you on a wild ride through haircuts, blah, blowouts and babies.
Jon & Kate Plus 8 – I’m sorry, who? I can’t even speak intelligently about this potentially splitting duo with ocho kidlets, because I’ve never watched the show. I have heard that Kate Gosselin has been quoted a bunch because normal women like us (and her) have been requesting her haircut. Not sure if that’s true or not, but Kate needs to walk in Jennifer Aniston’s footsteps on this one and turn the whole haircut craze into pure gold. It’s spiky, soft, dark, light, long and short all at once. Come on, what’s more fun than a bi-polar hairdo?
Jessica Simpson’s Reality TV Show – I’m afraid this one won’t be half as entertaining as Newlyweds, which spawned some of her greatest one-liners ever. “Sorry, I don’t eat buffalo.” This show is about the importance of what’s on the inside as opposed to being judged on outer beauty. No offense, but we all know what’s on the inside – gross-looking, stinky, icky organs and guts. Jess, we’d rather watch you pronounce platypus.
Suri’s B-Day Party – TomKat spent about $100k on Suri’s birthday party. The cake alone was $5k and the catering bill was about $45k. Surprised? Anyone? Anyone? I guess when you have all the money you could ever want from doing movies with a chip on your shoulder and at least one solo running sequence, you can throw a bash like this for your toddler. It will be awesome to see what Suri’s sweet sixteen party will be like. Think about it. If you have to outdo yourself every year with something more extravagant than the previous year, let’s say you have to spend $10k more per year. If my math is correct, by the age of 16 her parties will cost around $240k. And if you nodded in agreement with anything in this paragraph, you need to get help. Seriously, there are clean padded cells waiting for your arrival.
Adriana Lima Gets Fat – The beautiful Brazilian supermodel is expecting her first baby this winter. You’re about to meet the real Mother Nature, Ms. Secret, and she isn’t all that fond of bodies that can rock skimpy bikinis and prance around in a confident non-jiggling way. Say goodbye to fruits & veggies, and say hello to your new diet, muffin tops!
Melissa Joan Hart Gets Thin – I am so tired of trying to keep track of who is fat and who is thin. Why can’t celebs just pick a size and stick with it! It would be so considerate to the rest of us. If you’ve been thin for a long time like Nicole Ritchie or Kelly Ripa, you will be dubbed as “thin” forever, even if you gain like 20 pounds. Anyway, Melissa decided to lose her baby weight and People thought, “Hmmm, photographing a bikini-clad celebrity in a before-and-after weight loss story, what a unique idea!”
My trick for this Friday is thumbing through the October 20, 2008 issue of People Magazine. Let’s see if I can cram 144 pages of wonderfully entertaining, yet useless gossip, into one blog post. Betcha I can…
Cover: Nicole Ritchie looks like a 12-year-old hippie. Harlow is a cutie-pie. Cheryl Burke IS NOT fat. Seriously, she’s gorgeous. But I find it odd that her exclusive, “Dancing’s Cheryl Fights Back – Do You Really Think I’m Fat?” is located right under “Wow! Angelina’s Body (& New Tattoos!) After Babies.” So we’re trying to end the obsession with skinny while promoting being skinny? Interesting approach. And by the way, Angelina is skinny because she doesn’t eat. It’s not rocket science.
I’m not shopping at JCPenney, not matter how Polo-looking the ad might be.
Indy’s too old to be back.
Hugh Jackman with gun is yummy. George Clooney with mustache is not.
Victoria Beckham weighs less than the stapler on my desk.
Swedish Fish ad is just plain weird. Is it candy that tastes like fish? Or candy that tastes like cat?
I’m not sure what a Harajuku Girl is, but I don’t think I want to smell like one.
Toby Kebbell is scary.
I’m guessing the PussyCat Dolls sell lots of albums. Or maybe they just have lots of stalkers.
Yes We Can? Really, Obama? Can we?
George Hamilton is so very orange and he says he tans the natural way. I didn’t know sleeping in a tanning bed was natural.
Angelina and Brad…. together…. I’ll let everyone think their own thoughts on this one.
Beth Ostrosky wore a tissue disguised as a stripper costume to her wedding. How romantic.
Suze Orman with a milk mustache? See above about George Clooney with a non-milk mustache…
Paul Newman’s legacy, Hole in the Wall camp, is a great thing.
Wait, Sketchers are still in?
No matter how grown up Rick Schroder may be, he’ll always be “The Ricker” to me.
The best they could come up with for Style Watch is a cropped trench coat? A trench coat. Geez, that’s so creative. I guess if you make it short instead of long that’s news according to the fashion industry.
A dog wearing pearls…not sure what that has to do with Febreze, but whatever.
High School Musical 3 looks nothing like high school. I never got to float around in a pool in an inner tube wearing a cocktail dress. No fair!
Eva Mendez is wearing a killer pair of YSL heels. Mmmm.
The last page, Chatter, is always the best. This week’s deep question is “If you had three wishes, what would the last one be?” Blake Lively is pretty cute with her answer, “To have a hundred more.” Taylor Momsen, whoever that might be, says, “For more time at the beach – I don’t have to do anything with my hair. No styling.” Yea, that makes perfect sense.