Why Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions Are Lame

Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

It’s my favorite time of the year – New Year’s resolution time! The motivation, the lies, the despair. Who doesn’t love making resolutions, only to break them within a few hours?  Thanks to the folks at USA.gov, we know the Top 10 most popular New Year’s resolutions. Let’s take a look and see if they make sense. Feel free to share your 2010 resolutions with MommyQ!

1. – Lose Weight – Surprise, surprise. Now I realize there are people who make this resolution and stick to it – like 6%. Good for you! But if you’re really and truly overweight, why would you wait until the first of the year to do something about it? Why not skip the McDonald’s drive-thru in July or October? Omit those morning donuts in April. You can avoid the crowded gyms if you don’t start going with the rest of the fatties in January.

2. – Get Fit – Yes, if you go see Nine you will want to get fit ASAP. There is just something alluring about body parts that don’t jiggle and abs that don’t wiggle. If this is an item on your list for 2010, start small and work your way up. Focus on two areas at a time and then add a new one. By the end of the year, you will be able to do Bowflex commercials. 

3. – Manage Debt – 2010 might not be the best year to do this one. Google “economy” for a lengthy explanation.

4. – Save Money – See resolution #3

5. – Get a Better Job -This is a myth because there is no such thing. All jobs are the same. You might make more money initially, but after a few months in a cubicle you will want a new job. You won’t like your boss, you’ll want more vacation time, you will get annoyed by your colleagues, etc. Just do yourself a favor and stay where you are. The grass isn’t greener. (I love all of my jobs, but I’m just extremely lucky!)

6. – Get A Better Education – This is a GREAT resolution. In fact, not lame at all. This is far more important than losing weight or getting fit. Go back to school and help us rid society of idiots. Lord knows we have way too many of them.

7. – Drink Less Alcohol – I find this to be quite ludicrous. Why drink less when you can drink more? If you want to avoid resolutions and feel good about yourself, start drinking. Happy drunks rarely worry about dropping a dress size. Drink away your worries and problems like the rest of the world. Who needs to go the gym at night when there’s a perfectly good bottle of wine in the fridge?

8. – Quit Smoking Now – Yes, by all means! I don’t smoke and never have, but I know it’s a bad habit that needs to be broken. Try the patch or go get hypnotized. Whatever you need to do. Remember, by cutting out this resolution you can achieve #4 and pursue #7.

9. – Reduce Stress – Good luck with this one. See resolution #2. If that doesn’t work try #7.

10. – Take A Trip – This is a Top 10 resolution? Are you kidding me? I haven’t been in an empty airport lately, the interstates boast plenty of traffic and hotels seems busy. Doesn’t that mean people are taking trips. If you aren’t at home, you’ve gotta be somewhere.

Wishing all of my readers the best, most glorious & prosperous year ever! Thanks for joining me as I navigate the wild world of motherhood. You make the journey fun and worth all of the effort! ~MQ

Are Any Facebook Parents NOT Annoying?

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This has got to be something all of us Facebooking moms & dads thinks about. Am I an annoying Facebook parent? Nobody wants to be that parent – the one that boasts too much, or posts too many pics or gripes too much. Then again, we’re proud of our cute kiddos and the funny/silly/irritating things they do. Isn’t Facebook is the perfect place to share?

I’m writing this post because I came across an amusing article on Babble, “Facebook’s Five Most Annoying Parents.” It goes on to explain the personalities that make us cringe – the Bragger Parent, the Whiner Parent, the Cool Parent, the Obsessed Parent and the Zen Parent. All five perfectly illustrate why these types of parents tick us off.

My favorite quotes include this one about the Cool Parent, “While many parents have changed their wild ways with the arrival of their precious, others refuse to alter their lifestyle or sacrifice their hipness, using Facebook to affirm their undying alternative ways… And while these parents may in fact be having fun, they’re really not fooling anyone.”

My second fave quote is about the Zen Parent, “Common posts include pithy aphorisms about the joys of parenting and the general beauty of the world… Bleary-eyed parents with spit up on your shirts take note: Their babies are probably pooping their pants even as you read.”

It’s not easy to find a happy place as a parent on Facebook, because we all fit one of the above mentioned categories at some point. At times I brag, while other times I complain and I always pepper my albums with enough party pics to make me seem like I’m as fun as a barrel of monkeys. Due to the nature of my profession – writing about baby products for a living – I know I bombard my FB friends with too much ga-ga goodness. But if they’re really my friends, won’t they forgive me? And if not, can’t they just skip my post?

Ok, back to the article for a minute. If those five parents ARE annoying on Facebook, which type of parents aren’t???

Image: Jerkass Clothing

Why I Hate Laundry: Let Me Count The Ways

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I hate laundry. I hate every aspect of doing laundry. Why does the act of cleaning clothes have to be so complicated?

1. – Never enough detergent – No matter how many huge bottles of detergent I buy, it seems the bottle is always empty. I even resort to pouring water into the partially empty bottle and using that part water-part detergent mixture for at least one or two loads of laundry.  Also, who wants to buy those huge bottles and lug them around the grocery store??? I hate that.

2. – Sneaky stains – I always miss that one terribly stained shirt. It manages to avoid the Shout spray and makes its way into the dryer where the stain is there forever. I’ve tried every type of stain remover and nothing really impresses me.  BTW, have you noticed the weird settings on the Shout bottle? I get the ‘spray’ concept, but who needs a ‘stream’? Come on, really? A stream? Please. I hate that.

3. – Jeans – Oh, the horror of washing and drying jeans. I have a few dark ones that continually bleed in the washer. I have no idea how they aren’t totally absent of color now, but they turn light-colored clothes an odd shade of blueish. I never remember until I’ve accidentally tossed them into the wash. Then they get dried to a crisp in the dryer and it takes me two days to stretch them out enough so they’re comfortable. And then they are dirty and the whole vicious cycle starts again. I hate that.

4. – Socks – Nothing bugs me more than matching up clean socks. That chore has become exponentially worse since having children. Should they be rolled together into some type of ‘sock onion’ or does that ruin the elastic? Should they be folded or just thrown together in a drawer?I won’t even explain the obvious missing sock scenario. I hate that too.

5. – Special orders – We have way too many ‘special order’ laundry items that require too much personal attention. This shirt must be washed and immediately placed on a hanger. That shirt can only be dried for 10 minutes on low. That skirt is too small, so it can never even touch the air surrounding the dryer. That golf shirt has a fragile collar, so please fold it a certain way and then dry it. Those jeans can only be washed for 5 minutes on the third Tuesday of any month ending in an “r” – and the insanity continues. I hate that.

What ticks you off about laundry???

The Best of MommyQ: Vote for Barbies, Rush or Obama’s Jeans

It’s time to take a peek back in time and figure out which post deserves “The Best of MommyQ” title. From WeeGo bottles to knitted cupcakes to Autism, preggo celebrities and outlandish shopping centers, I’ve pretty much covered it all. As a favor to my readers, I never dive too far into the weird, scary or just downright depressing stories because I want MommyQ to be a place for relaxation and fun, not stress and sadness.

I’ve taken great joy in discussing meaningless dribble, like proclaiming my love for the CHI Flat Iron. Now it’s time for YOU to decide which blog post should win. Here is a list of my all-time favorite posts. Leave me a comment and vote for your fave!!!

7 Things Moms are Thankful For (Whether They Know It Or Not!)
I had a blast writing this post and was amazed at the rude feedback it got from moms who thought I was being totally serious. Duh?!?

Toy Nostalgia: Fashion Plates and Barbie’s Corvette
This post practically wrote itself! It captures some of the best memories I have from my childhood and got a tremendous amount of feedback from readers with similar funny stories about Barbies.

One Day My Babies Will Be Men
I think this post expresses the sheer panic all of us mommies encounter when we realize we’re raising men, not boys.

Excuse Me, Please Don’t Seat Us Near That Baby
No explanation needed for this one…

Retail Slump, Spoiled Kids and Rush Limbaugh
MommyQ was ridiculed by Rush Limbaugh. He said my real name and made fun of me. How can this post NOT be considered?

Elizabeth Adeney:Really? Come On.
This post was picked up on MSNBC and got about 1,000 views in 24 hours. It must be a good one.

Obama Wears (Gulp!) Dorky Denim
Again, people went totally bonkers on me about this one because they thought I was being literal. Sarcasm does not translate well online.

Again, please pick your favorite or top three faves and leave a comment. Thanks for your help!!! MQ

Giving Kids A Lifelong Sport: Tennis Anyone?

My father taught my younger sister & I how to play tennis when we were eight or nine years old. We took lessons, practiced regularly and played on the school tennis teams. My father, who is now 73-years-old, is passionate about tennis and still plays 2-3 times per week. Despite his age and slight limp, he can get around a tennis court. Many of his opponents have learned the “you can’t judge a book by its cover” lesson on more than one occasion.

Growing up, we spent many hours on the tennis court together. At times, my mother would join us and we would play a few hilarious sets of doubles together. I use the term “hilarious” because my mother would play the net like a maniac, flying through the air awkwardly to return a lob or totally missing the ball and accidentally tossing the racket mid-swing. I’m sure onlookers thought we were crazy. I remember laughing so hard, I could barely swing the racket.

Today, after nearly 25 years, my father, sister & I still play tennis together. We don’t play often because she lives in a different state and I get busy being mom and doing mom things. When do play, it’s just like old times. We giggle when we successfully drop shot dad and I still run around my forehand because I prefer backhands. My sister mutters funny stuff under her breath when she crushes her forehand and we both blame the other one when a ball whizzes by us on the center line. “That was yours!?!”

We’re teaching my children how to play tennis, although they are still too young to fully understand the concept. It’s a chaotic scene – me, my husband and my father trying to convince two small kiddos to hold the racket steady and swing. They’d rather chase tennis balls, tug on the net, drag the racket on the ground or use it like a golf club. And that’s all just fine with me.

One day, we will all play doubles together. My kids will laugh at my silly antics at the net and I will marvel at the great shots they make. We’ll spend time on the court talking about nothing special, enjoying the physical activity, the smell of new tennis balls and relishing in the perfect cross-court winner.

A Laugh for the Day…

While it may seem like I’m addicted to Facebook like everyone else, I’m not. I use it for business purposes too like promoting my MommyQ blog and the blogging I do for Droolicious on Babble.com.

Anyway, when I post items to my profile sometimes I quickly scan my home page to see what’s going on. I was scanning it today and noticed a very popular photographer in Austin TX,  John Langford, was having a special promotion. His ad read, “Get a New Photo & Get Noticed.” In my haste, I read it as, “Get a Nude Photo & Get Naked.”

Needless to say, I was like, “what in the world???” As soon as I re-read it, I laughed and laughed. MommyQ  hopes you got a giggle out of my “mind in the gutter” moment! 🙂 If you want to take advantage of John’s “new” photo promotion, check it out on Facebook!

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If you want real news from the mom trenches, follow MommyQ on Twitter. Find me at http://twitter.com/mommyq and stay up-to-date about baby gear, nursery items, baby and toddler clothes, crib bedding, eco-friendly toys and more! Not to mention my goofy perspective on mommy moments — how can you miss those!?! – fashion and celeb gossip.