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The majority of parents have probably been in a similar situation as reality star and new mother, Kourtney Kardashian. As a new mommy, she is discovering how much swearing actually goes on in her life. Now she’s worried her baby’s first words will be bleeped out on national television. The biggest potty mouth culprits? Her sister Khloe and her baby daddy, Scott Dipstick Disick.

As a child, I was under strict orders never to use swear words. While I heard them occasionally – like when my dad got a paper cut, which was his biggest pet peeve in the universe – my family didn’t cuss. As I got older, I started peppering f-bombs into my personal conversations and I’ve since realized how hard it is to stop. My hubby and I agreed to cut the cussing down to a minimum when we found out we were pregnant for the first time. Now that my kiddos are bigger and closely relate to parrots, we really have to watch it. I’m still guilty, but we certainly try to limit the potty mouth.

I think it’s funny that Kourtney has taken this into consideration and wants to start censoring her family. She’s even asking for advice from readers on her blog. What’s great about this dilemma is it proves she’s thinking like a mommy. And that’s a good thing. My advice to Kourt would be “earmuffs” as we saw demonstrated in Old School.  A “swear jar” is way too obvious for that family. Maybe they should give Scott a shot of tequila for every cuss word and that way he’ll either succeed in making a huge buffoon of himself, which is always entertaining, or he’ll just pass out cold and we won’t have to hear and/or see him at all. Also a good option.

Image:iVillage.com

Earlier this week, my first guest blog appeared on Betty Confidential. I read an article about Angelina Jolie’s parenting style and it made me wonder if I were really ridiculously wealthy, would I be a different kind of mom? Enjoy!

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A few weeks ago I was at the nail salon flipping through a tabloid. The story that caught my eye was about Angelina Jolie and her mother-in-law, Jane Pitt. The two weren’t getting along so well because Brad’s mom was annoyed at Angelina’s overly relaxed parenting style. She worries that the nannies are too involved and that Angelina doesn’t provide them with enough discipline. According to Brad’s mom, the kids stay up late all of the time, they eat lots of junk food, go out in public looking unkempt. Brad’s mom believes young children need a more structured upbringing.

I’m a stay-at-home, work-from-home mom, so I’m knee-deep in kiddos every day. As I was about to knock Angelina for her mommy style, I couldn’t help but entertain the scenario in my head. “What kind of mom would I be if I were super-rich like Angelina?”

If we had ridiculous amounts of disposable income, would I be a different mother? Would I invest in more “we” time or more “me” time? Would I choose to spend more quality time with my children or with myself? Would I throw caution to the wind? Would I let my children stay up late munching Cheetos, knowing that I didn’t have to deal with the orange handprints all over the sofa? My housekeeper would handle that. When the boys start to slap, pinch, shove and wrestle for toys around 5:30 p.m., would I just let the nanny figure out how to intervene? Or would I even be at home? Maybe I’d be at the gym or shopping or – gasp! – getting my weekly massage. Would I be constantly running out of the door, kissing my kids on the cheeks and yelling last-minute directions to my nannies on the way out?

Read my final thoughts about it by clicking here!

Image: BettyConfidential.com

I wrote a post this week over on Babble’s blog, Family Style: 5 Kid Shows that Won’t Annoy You. Yes, my beloved penguins made the list. That show might have the best one liners since Seinfeld. Believe it or not, this wasn’t an easy list to create. Let’s just say it was far easier to list the shows I don’t like, as opposed to the shows I like.  There are a few things about kid shows I just can’t stand:

1. – Men wearing tights. I find this totally ridiculous. What happened to normal pants? Why in the world does a grown man need to jump around and dance for an audience of small children wearing nothing but a smile and thin layer of spandex? If you know, please enlighten me.

2. – Characters with mismatched outfits. I understand these shows are all about bright colors and carefree attitudes, but why must the characters wear a pink top, orange socks, purple shoes, green shorts, etc. It really starts to bug me after the first 10 minutes. I keep wishing for a “makeover” episode where the character gets a new look and they burn the bad clothes in an animated inferno.

3. – Cartoon animals with tails. Have you noticed the Wonder Pets character, Tuck (the turtle), no longer has a tail? I won’t elaborate, but when he stands up and walks around, it doesn’t look like a tail….

4. – Puppet people. Oh, the downright freaky, puppet people. These cartoons feature a mixture of real people and people in puppet-like costumes. It doesn’t bother me in shows like Sesame Street because all of those characters are fluffy and lovable. In the newer shows, these characters are creepy and unnerving. If one of them rang my doorbell, I’d surely grab a weapon.

5. – Tricking us with yelling disguised as singing. You might be able to fool a toddler, but adults know the difference. Just because you can be really loud and read lyrics, doesn’t make it a song.

On the flip side, want to see which kid shows I love?  Hop over to Family Style! I’ve listed five educational, unique and witty shows that won’t make you wince at all.

My youngest child is going on three and boy, I am hearing some hilariousness these days! He’s an incredibly outgoing kiddo with an insanely strong vocabulary. But he’s only two, so he still has trouble putting everything together correctly. I know I’m taking these comments out of context, but here are a few of the lines that have us in stitches:

- “Can I put your finger in your eye?”

- “I have a little butt and you have a big butt?”

- “What that? What that? What that?”

- “Why that boy not talking to me?”

- “I’m sorry I ate dat candle, mama.”

- “Kitty, what’s your name? What your name Kitty? What your name?”

- “No, no, no, I didn’t burp – I belched.”

- “I need crackers in a bowl.”

- “Do you smell that mommy? I think it’s that man, mama. He smells stinky.”

- “Mommy, make me some wacka-wacka with beeda-beeda.”

- “Pass that car, mommy. You drivin’ too slow!”

- “Buckle me out!”  (Instead of unbuckle me)

- “Sorry I throwed dat toy down those stairs.”

Is it something we’re all thinking, but nobody is talking about? Does Countess LuAnn from the Real Housewives of New York City need a one-shoulder intervention?

When it comes to trendy clothes, you know a killer asymmetrical dress works wonders.  I happen to love one-shoulder dresses and tops, but LuAnn is demonstrating obsessive behavior when it comes to her spatial relationship with clothes. Pun intended.

Don’t get me wrong, I think LuAnn is quite beautiful with a great body and that cool raspy voice. In my opinion, she is far more striking and naturally pretty than Kelly.  But why so many asymmetric necklines? What is with that?!?

When Ramona made the comment jokingly in all seriousness, “I think your purple dress with the one-shoulder is ridiculous,” I almost fell out of my chair. Yes! Ramona  finally said something intelligent. LuAnn, I love ya babe, but that dress is ridiculous.  I’m not sure if someone she respects in the fashion industry told her it’s a good style for her body type or what, but owning more than 20 one-shoulder dresses is probably a no-no, even for a duchess or a princess or a countess.

Who’s with me? Shall we start making phone calls and schedule this intervention? I’ll bring the Pinot Grigio.

Today was one of those days. I had lots of work to do and while I was on an important call with a fabulous Betty, I heard an odd noise. It was a bag of Skittles being dumped on the floor. My son was trying to sneak a few and accidentally poured them out.  My initial reaction was slowed by my second reaction, which was slowed by my third reaction, which leads me to this…The Skittles Quiz….

1. You’re on the phone and your child accidentally dumps a bag of Skittles on the floor. What do you do?

a.) Stop what you’re doing and immediately tend to the mess, throwing the now compromised Skittles in the trash.
b.) Scowl at your child and ignore the mess, knowing it won’t be going anywhere in the next 20 minutes.
c.) Skittles? Why would I ever have them in my home? They contain carbs!?!

2. You’re feeding your cats and you notice a lone Skittle hiding behind the cat’s water bowl. What do you do?

a.) Brush it off and eat it quickly so your kids won’t see you do it or else you’ll have to split one Skittle three ways.
b.) Throw it away and spray the sugary area on the floor with some type of orange cleaning fluid.
c.) Ignore it and hope the ants will find it.

3. One of your kids loves red and one loves yellow. How do you avoid a Skittletasrophe?

a.) Divide the Skittles according to colors and you get to eat the least favorite color.
b.) Tell your kids they taste the same no matter what the color is so stop complaining.
c.) I have no idea what a Skittletastrophe is and I don’t care.

4. Your toddler runs up to you with a watery red mark on his face. What do you do?

a.) Call 911 because he’s bleeding!
b.) Lick his face and enjoy the faint taste of cherry.
c.) Run the other direction.

5. You love Skittles most of all because…

a.) You love the rainbow of fruit flavor.
b.) It’s the only treat you can afford now.
c.) Nothing brings peace to fighting children faster than brightly colored candy.

Answers: Who cares. You get my point.

I know we blog about items you must have as a mother. Things you need for survival in this crazy, kid-filled, hectic life.  There is only one thing I can guarantee as a mom. If you have dark circles under your eyes BEFORE the children arrive, you will have bigger, darker circles AFTER they show up.

This is maybe the cutest, coolest, most innovative product I’ve purchased in a while. It’s the ‘Confessions of a Concealaholic’ Kit from Benefit and it works. If you didn’t figure it out from the clever name, it’s a concealing & brightening kit You can find it online at Ulta for $36 and in many department stores.

My favorite item in this little kit is the Erase Paste. Like you, I’ve tried tons of concealers and none of them seem to work like this one does. Now you MUST understand that the biggest part about concealers like this is knowing how to apply them correctly. If you buy this at the Benefit counter, ask one of the gals to show your how to apply everything. No shame in that!

Here’s what comes in the kit:

- “That Gal” Brightening Face Primer
- Erase Paste (no. 2 medium) brightening camouflage for eyes and face
- Lemon Aid Color Correcting Eyelid Primer
- Eye Bright Instant Eye Brightener
- Concealer brushes
- Step-by-step lesson

I think this would be a great gift for an expecting mommy or new mommy. She may laugh at it when she opens the gift, but she’ll be putting it on in the a.m. And thanking you for it…

Last week MommyQ was lucky enough to take a trip to Portland, Oregon, to witness a “behind-the-scenes” movie experience.  Walmart and P&G invited me to attend, so I could see the guts and the glory it takes to produce a television movie. The movie, “In My Shoes,” is a clever, compassionate and family-friendly project that proves the notion of family movie night is not forgotten.

When I was a kid, I remember sitting with my parents and my sister once a week, usually Friday night, to watch television together. I have to admit, I don’t remember exact titles of the movies we watched, but I do recall the laughter, giggles, communal popcorn tub and the fun. I also know my parents didn’t have to jump up and run to the TV (we didn’t have remotes back then) to change the station because something non kid-friendly was interrupting our viewing pleasure.

From the wonderful folks at P&G and Walmart to the producers to the actors, EVERYONE working on this project is totally aware of the need for family-friendly television entertainment. Even the youngest actor on the set, 11-year-old Jackson Pace, mentioned how important it is to be able to watch television together as a family. (BTW, what a cute little guy.)

I also got to meet some phenomenal women/mothers/entreprenuers as in @MomStart @mamaspohr @eightymphmom @BettyBuzz @OurOrdinaryLife – funny, fantastic and talented, who could ask for more?

Get a taste of what the new and improved family movie night is by watching The Jenson Project on July 19th on NBC. And if you haven’t seen Secrets of the Mountain, you’d better get to watchin’ because it was incredible. Stay tuned!