It’s been a busy weekend in the world of entertainment. Charlie Sheen’s insane ramblings and “duh, winning” continues to be among the most talked about topics, but I’m going to tackle a few other goodies instead. Danica Patrick, Jeff Gordon, Carl Edwards and Miley Cyrus. Odd combo? Yes, but I have my reasons. (See video at the end of this blog post if you must skip ahead for a laugh.)

Danica Dominates in Vegas
Things got interesting at Las Vegas Motor Speedway this weekend as Danica Patrick snagged her best finish EVER in the Nationwide race on Saturday, coming in 4th. A top five finish proves she’s in NASCAR because she’s a talented driver, not just because she’s a pretty face and a hot body that makes a gazillion dollars for her sponsors. (Yes, I’m talking to you, GoDaddy.) I’m so excited for Danica and I hope this will shush the naysayers, at least for a while.

Daddies Dominate in Vegas too…
Jeff Gordon raced to victory last week and Carl Edwards just snagged his first victory today in Vegas. Both drivers finally ended some rather lengthy losing streaks. I think this proves that just because you have sweet, innocent, adorable babies crawling, drooling at popping on your at home, doesn’t mean you’re a big old softy on the track. Last year, I asked Carl Edwards about whether or not fatherhood had changed him as a driver. He told me the answer was yes and no, which makes sense. He added that he was annoyed at people who think that would make him less of a driver. I think these two wins prove that diaper duty actually makes them better drivers.

Miley Cyrus on SNL Spells Redemption
If you didn’t catch Saturday Night Live last night, you missed a rather hilarious episode. Miley Cyrus was the guest hostess and I have to say, she was very cool about spoofing herself. I’m not a Miley fan, but I did respect her good sense of humor about… well, herself. SNL does a skit about Miley Cyrus having her own talk show and they totally rag on her. Miley was on that skit last night impersonating Justin Bieber. I thought it was super. Not that’s she’s laugh out loud funny, but it was definitely entertaining. Notice the way they spoof her dad… love that mullet!!! 

Images: Nascar.com & Hulu.com

If you can’t afford an electric cigarette-smoking psychic like Camille, you read horoscopes. I happen to think zodiac signs can be pretty accurate as far as insight into someone’s personality. For example, I tend to gravitate towards Sagittarius men and Aquarius females like myself. Now, thanks to the millennia-long effect of the moon’s gravitational pull on the Earth, everything’s being thrown into a cosmic blender on “Power Burst” speed. I don’t know who to like anymore…

Today, FoxNews reported Parke Kunkle, board member of the Minnesota Planetarium Society said, “When [astrologers] say that the sun is in Pisces, it’s really not in Pisces.”  Why? Because over the last 1,000 years, there’s been a one-month bump in the alignment of the stars. Uh-oh. “We’re off by about 10 degrees or so, a twelfth of the way around,” Kunkle says.

What does this mean? Well, the StarTribune offers this calendar to be the real zodiac sign dates:

Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16

Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11

Pisces: March 11- April 18

Aries: April 18- May 13

Taurus: May 13- June 21

Gemini: June 21- July 20

Cancer: July 20- Aug. 10

Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16

Virgo: Sept. 16- Oct. 30

Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23

Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17

Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20

Based on this chart, I guess I have to divorce the hubby because he’s no longer my adored, quirky, witty, wild Sagittarius, he’s an Ophiuchus. Excuse me? What the heck is that?!? It’s the only sign discarded by the Babylonians, because they wanted 12 signs per year instead of lucky 13. Great, now I have to be married to an Ophiuchus and be anti-Babylonian too. Drats.

More importantly, this makes me a Capricorn. I don’t wanna be practical, prudent, patient and reserved. I like being an Aquarius. Original, inventive, independent, unemotional and detached. That’s what I’m good at.

So how does this newfangled chart change your sign? For better or worse?

Image: TattooMeNow

Happy 2011 to all of my MommyQ readers! I hope you rang in 2011 with amazing amounts of fun, great friends and lots of bubbly. My hubby and I spent New Year’s Eve with our uninvited guest, Senior Stomach Flu. Needless to say, he was quite the downer.

People in Arkansas celebrated the New Year will over a 1,000 dead Red-Winged Blackbirds falling from the sky. How’s that for seriously creepy? The reports started rolling in around 11:30 p.m. The dead birds – thousands of them – fell over a 1-mile area of Beebe, and an aerial survey indicated that no other dead birds were found outside of that area. I’m a rather superstitious person, so I would’ve freaked the heck out had I been there for that. Hello bad omen. Wait a second, these birds were in Arkansas, right? Maybe it was suicide.

Okay, you got me. These aren’t real pics. They are MommyQ and her man rocking Halloween 2010. What fun costumes, huh? I think we did a pretty good job. What do you think?

For the women in the world who have never invested in a good bra, the haunting words of Bill Engvall come to mind, “Here’s your sign!” The truth about nice undergarments, be it a bra or shapewear, is they do amazing things. And by amazing, I mean A-MAZ-ING! There are millions of women trotting through life in ill-fitting bras and cheap underwear.  See what you’re missing? You could be hiding a total hottie under all of that sad fabric.

Need an example? This is the Wacoal Underwire Sports Bar. Notice how perky and round. (You can grab this comfortable slice of youth for $62 at Neiman Marcus.)  Throw this beauty under a simple white tee and you’ll go from flat to fabulous. Maybe the big secret looming behind Sarah Palin’s knock-out figure is just a solid fitting by a sweet lady with a measuring tape. No knives required.

The store owner, Jennifer Mazuelos, said Sandra was an easygoing mom and really seemed to enjoy shopping for baby stuff. Her fave items were baby hats and tees. (Sandra happened to be wearing a hat that day too!) Jennifer said Louis was a big baby, so Sandra was buying 18-24 month clothes. Okay, let’s cut to the good stuff. Here are some items she bought:

Chaser Tees Peace American Flag, Vintage Black Tee
Retails for $25 at Izzy and Ash.

City Threads Striped Blue Polo Shirt
Retails for $20.25 at Izzy and Ash

City Threads Charcoal Plaid Jersey Shorts
Retail for $23.25 at Izzy and Ash.

Want to see more items she bought, including the most adorable plaid baby cap you’ve ever seen? Check out this blog post on Droolicious for more of Louie’s goodies!

It is now official! America’s Sweetheart, actress Sandra Bullock has filed for divorce. According to Us Magazine, she filed April 23rd in Travis County Court in Austin, TX.  And we are so happy to have her here!

The eight-page document states: “The marriage has become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities that destroys the legitimate end of the marriage/relationship and prevents any reasonable expectations of reconciliation.” The papers — filed under “B.A.S.” (Bullock’s initials backwards) — state that the actress and James, 40, who wed in 2005, “have ceased living together as husband and wife.”

On a bright note, Sandra recently announced that she has adopted a son, 3 1/2-month-old Louis from New Orleans. This news is flying around the Internet at a high rate of speed, but I think it’s because everyone is excited for her. As moms, we know how much love and joy enters your life as soon as you become a mother. Luckily for Sandra, she doesn’t have to worry about most struggles a single mom might face like working/income, etc.  Anyway, she brought little Louis home in January and has been keeping it a secret until now.

From one mommy to another, congratulations!!!! Life tests you, but there is always a shining star somewhere in your midst. I think Sandra found hers!

Image: Us Magazine

You may have already heard, but one of the most famous mommies in the world is trying to gain weight. That’s right, I said GAIN weight. The perfectly posh Posh and her magnificent man, David Beckham, want another baby. They want a girl. Awwwwwe.

According to a variety of celebrity scoop sources, Victoria has begun to eat carbs for the first time since 1996. Well, I don’t the exact date but based on her teeny-tiny frame, I’m guessing it’s been a while since she ate a PB&J on white bread.  She isn’t eating fast food, but she is allowing herself carbs like pasta and potatoes.

I’m sure her little guys, Brooklyn, 11, Romeo, 7, and Cruz, 5, are like, “Wow! Mummy is eating cake. This is so cool!” Can you imagine how hard it must be to skip on the birthday cake with that many kids. Yikes. I’m sure she thinks a portion of pasta is like 4 noodles. Anyway, wishing her the best and get ready for baby bump radar.

Image: People Magazine

It comes as no surprise that Lourdes, Madonna’s 13-year-old daughter, is now dipping a toe into the fame pool. She has been dabbling in acting, fashion design, dancing & singing. And why not? If Madonna was my mommy, I’d be all over that stuff too. But Madonna is one smart lady and has been taking every exciting step with Lourdes, serving as the ultimate stage mom.

I chatted with Paul Harris, a reporter for The Examiner, on Sunday about Madonna’s choices for her daughter. My main feeling (as the biggest non-celebrity ever) is Madonna cares deeply about Lourdes and her safety. Being thrust into the spotlight is one thing, but growing up in it is quite different. I think Lourdes already knows a lot about what to do and what not to do — much more so than many new actors twice her age. Madonna is watching over her like a hawk and that’s just what any good mother should do.

My quotes in the article is, “At the end of the day, if you are Madonna or any other parent, you are still all dealing with diapers and kids falling down and scraping their knees.” Okay, so maybe Madonna didn’t change diapers back in the day or put Snoopy Band-aids on boo-boos, but maybe she did. My point is all moms (and parents for that matter), deal with the same issues whether you’re famous or not. We worry, support, laugh, cry, comfort, help, nurture and protect. Madonna wants the best for her daughter and we can all relate to that.

Read the full article here. Image: Matt Baron/BEI / Rex Features

The April issue of SELF  features a really great interview with Grey’s Anatomy star, Ellen Pompeo, where she dishes on her secrets to handling marriage-motherhood-career while staying sane and enjoying it.  That sounds heavenly to me!

She reveals her pregnancy truths (“I was like, ‘Oh, God, it worked! Oh no!’”), her brown-bag lunch strategy, the 6 foods on her personal “energy diet,” and lessons she’ll teach her daughter (“I hope Stella has more self-confidence than I did as a child.”).

What does she have to say about happiness? “It’s easy to get lost in the baby. But you have to make the time for your relationships. You have to make sure you give your husband attention. And I still see my friends all the time, too. It’s important to have a well-rounded life. You learn things from your friends, and they bring you joy, and you bring back all that happiness to your baby.”

Wanna know what’s in the Golden Globe goody bag this year? Well, the bag is worth $500. (Doesn’t that seem low? Maybe Hollywood isn’t recession-proof after all.)

Hers:
- A large Dooney & Bourke satchel
- Euphoria perfume by Calvin Klein
- L’Oreal cosmetics
- InStyle’s book, “The New Secrets of Style”

His:
- Tumi duffle bag
- Euphoria for men
- A custom shirt by designer Alexander West
- A style book for guys

The Presenters Lounge backstage is an entirely different story. The artwork alone is worth $3 million. Yes, $3 mil in a room for stars to apply more lip gloss. Or Botox – whatever.  Read more at People.

Image: People.com

What happens when Posh needs more signature, over-sized shades? She hops over to Milan, Italy,  where her hot hubby plays soccer (on loan) and buys a new pair. Or twelve.

Rumor has it she bought a $700k Rolex watch (for Becks), an insane amount of handbags and 20 new pairs of 5-inch heels. In fact, the couture house of Dolce & Gabbana (or maybe it was Armani) on Via Montenapoleone closed so she could shop in private.Oh, you can add evening gowns, cocktails dresses and luxury luggage to the list too. On to the furniture. She picked up five bespoke sofas from Natuzzi. And two bespoke suits for Becks.

This should make you feel much better about your $100 splurge at Target. Wanna see a hot D&G shoe option? The one listed below retails for $995. Yummy!

Maybe it’s because the weather has been so cold or maybe it’s because this looks so super-duper cozy. No matter what the reason is I love this maternity sweater. This is the Cable Batwing Sweater at Isabella Oliver and it’s on sale now for $167.

Speaking of looking fab with a baby bump, my favorite momtrepreneur, Heidi Klum, announced today she is working on two maternity lines. It’s about time! She chases around her four kiddos and still has time to do Project Runway, design jewelry and clothes and look incredible the whole time. Now that is talent, my friends.

Lavish and Loved will debut online and in stores February 12, 2010. A Pea In The Pod and Motherhood will carry her items. Lavish features iconic looks and Loved is affordable. (We’ll see!) Read more about it here!

Read more from MommyQ – Project Runway: Who’s Getting Auf’d Tonight?

Is it our business? Of course not. What happened between him and his wife (and the tree) is totally NOT our business. Humans, being the flawed people we are by nature, want to know about it because we’re just plain nosy. We like to think ultra-rich, ridiculously famous people have problems in their lives just like we do.  It makes us feel better about ourselves. Yes, in some sick way maybe we’re all  looking for an interesting distraction that makes us go, “Hmmmm, maybe my life is peachy-keen just the way it is.

Even when people act like they’re too good to talk about Tiger’s situation – like certain talk show hosts did this morning – they’re still talking about it. They’re still taking part in spreading the story. Like me writing about it right now. Yes, I’m making it worse but I openly admit it. I’m jumping on the bandwagon for sure. I find the whole story interesting in a twisted, unbelievable way. To think even the gorgeous Elin – or Fergie or Gwyneth or a zillion other beautiful celebrities, for that matter – could possibly be cheated on is mind-boggling. You look at picture-perfect couples with fame and fortune and think they have it all. We may be reminded over and over and over again that they don’t have it all, yet we still look at them in awe. I find that slightly amusing in a pathetic sort of way.

Anyway, I’m sure the truth will emerge in the next few days and we’ll all forget about this by next week. If you want to see the most deplorable response to this whole ordeal, check out the article on Eonline, “Five Things You Need to Know About Tiger Woods’ Alleged Other Woman Rachel Uchitel.” This is the most appalling, faux-news, story out there at the moment.  That article is the epitome of throwing a bunch of useless facts together for the sole purpose of stirring the pot.

Whether the affair is true or not, my heart goes out to Tiger, his wife and family. Why? Because I’m a wife and a mother. This is horrible stuff to live with no matter what the real story may be. Remember, there is no “delete” button for stories published on the Internet that turn out to be wrong.

In my opinion, you’re either a fan of LC (Lauren Conrad) or you’re not. When I first started watching The Hills, I thought she became more likable as the show progressed, but I was never overly impressed with her sense of style. Maybe it’s because my attention was always being diverted to Kristen and her catty ways. I love watching spoiled, rich, divas be bitchy to each other. And the fact that they were graduating high school – so amusing.

LC emerged from The Hills as a budding fashion designer. She “designed” her first collection that was supposed to be rather pricey, but I don’t think it really took off. Now she is unveiling a ready-to-wear line at Kohl’s department stores. Speaking of Kohl’s, did you know Vera Wang has a line there called ‘Simply Vera’…

You can see LC’s collection at Kohl’s online by clicking here. I’m not being mean because I don’t have a line of clothes for sale, but I’d say this stuff is rather ho-hum. Where are the cool hobo bags and the chunky belts and the rompers and the bright colors? What about mini dress? I get that it’s supposed to wearable, but a cami and two cardigan sweaters? How hard is that to design? Again, not being mean…just wondering.

According to a recent article in The New York Times, eyebrows are out. Mechanical is in. This year, the forehead is the perfect blank canvas for beauty. In NYC, fashion-forward men are bleaching them away and some women are shaving them off.  If they aren’t shaving them off, they are blocking them out with cosmetics. Forget buying a new bag or a hot pair of heels to spice up your wardrobe, just sport shown brows.

So you mean a few years ago when my husband (who shaves his head) was haphazardly shaving his face and cut off an eyebrow – that was fashionable? Poor guy! Had he known, he might not have felt so silly all those months he spent waiting for it to grow back.

And me? Well, I’m a brunette and the idea of lopping off my eyebrows in the name of fashion seems rather hasty. They help to define my facial features. Although I do have bangs, so you can’t see them that well anyway. Maybe I should! After all, these tough economic times are making us all more cutting-edge. (Excuse me, what?!?) Ah, yes…because eyebrows are so high maintenance.

How many times have I thought to myself, “I could save thousands of dollars a year if I just didn’t have to deal with my eyebrows. How I wish there was a way to avoid that costly habit.” I guess my prayers have been answered. Lather up!

I was watching the All-Star Game last night and taking note of President Obama’s first pitch. The toss was fine, but something was amiss. Was it his jacket? Well, I was ticked it wasn’t a Yankee jacket, but that wasn’t it. The hair? No, that looked nice. It was his goofy, non-designer jeans! Wait a second. I thought he was ultra-stylish? What’s with the dorky denim choice?

Maybe he was going for comfort or maybe he just wanted to look like one of the guys. No matter what the reason was, it was a huge fashion faux pas. Let’s face it, we all know expensive designer jeans are the new ‘cool guy’ uniform. And my gal Sarah Palin would have never walked out in dowdy mom jeans! I’m not sure which brand he was casually sporting – Levi’s, Wrangler, Lee, Canyon River Blues from Sears – all I can say is, “yikes!” This guy needs to Bluefly!

What Obama needs is a slim fit with a slight flair. By no means does he need a skinny jean though! He should be slipping into a pair of True Religion, PRPS, 7 for All Mankind or at the very least, Diesel. Hopefully his press folks will hear enough negative buzz that they will whisk him off to Nordstrom for a pair of medium blue faded bootcuts posthaste!

Michael Jackson was my very first idol. I was a child who happened to love dancing, whether it was tap, ballet or jazz, and I loved pop music. My first memory of Michael Jackson was dancing to ‘Beat It’ during a dance recital. I was the only girl in the class who had fully mastered the ever-popular moonwalk. It came to me naturally and I remember trying to teach other girls in the class how to do it because they had trouble figuring it out.

I was a huge Michael Jackson fan for many years. Thriller was my most favorite album and I listened to it on a daily basis. I knew every song by heart and absolutely loved them all. After much pleading and begging, I finally convinced my mom to let me hang two of his posters in my room, as long as I didn’t use too much tape as she didn’t want me to ruin the walls when they came down. I also remember innocently thinking to myself, “why would I ever take them down?”

My cool friends were all into Duran Duran and other more hip groups during that time. I was often the butt of jokes for liking Michael Jackson, owning two pair of parachute pants and wearing big white socks with black shoes, but it didn’t phase me. Watching him sing and dance was electrifying. His talent and skills moved me in a way I couldn’t explain. He was mesmerizing and seeing clips of his performance at the Motown 25th Anniversary show still gives me chills.

I even used Michael Jackson as a gauge for how bad my colds were when I was a kid. For example, if I were home sick, was I too sick to dance with Michael? Like if he magically showed up at my door and wanted to dance with me, was I too sick to dance with him? If so, I was pretty darn sick and probably running a fever. If not, I wasn’t very sick.

Needless to say, the posters eventually came down. I don’t remember what motivated me to take them down, but they were never replaced with someone new.  It may be selfish, but this is how I will always remember the King of Pop. I do not care to think about his scandals, his eccentricities or his surgeries. He will always be an inspiration to me and I hope others choose to remember the good years too. Rest in peace, Michael. And thank you for the memories.

Jon & Kate Plus 8 – I’m sorry, who? I can’t even speak intelligently about this potentially splitting duo with ocho kidlets, because I’ve never watched the show. I have heard that Kate Gosselin has been quoted a bunch because normal women like us (and her) have been requesting her haircut. Not sure if that’s true or not, but Kate needs to walk in Jennifer Aniston’s footsteps on this one and turn the whole haircut craze into pure gold. It’s spiky, soft, dark, light, long and short all at once. Come on, what’s more fun than a bi-polar hairdo?

Jessica Simpson’s Reality TV Show – I’m afraid this one won’t be half as entertaining as Newlyweds, which spawned some of her greatest one-liners ever. “Sorry, I don’t eat buffalo.”  This show is about the importance of what’s on the inside as opposed to being judged on outer beauty. No offense, but we all know what’s on the inside – gross-looking, stinky, icky organs and guts. Jess, we’d rather watch you pronounce platypus.

Suri’s B-Day Party – TomKat spent about $100k on Suri’s birthday party. The cake alone was $5k and the catering bill was about $45k. Surprised? Anyone? Anyone?  I guess when you have all the money you could ever want from doing movies with a chip on your shoulder and at least one solo running sequence, you can throw a bash like this for your toddler. It will be awesome to see what Suri’s sweet sixteen party will be like. Think about it. If you have to outdo yourself every year with something more extravagant than the previous year, let’s say you have to spend $10k more per year. If my math is correct, by the age of 16 her parties will cost around $240k. And if you nodded in agreement with anything in this paragraph, you need to get help. Seriously, there are clean padded cells waiting for your arrival.

Adriana Lima Gets Fat – The beautiful Brazilian supermodel is expecting her first baby this winter. You’re about to meet the real Mother Nature, Ms. Secret, and she isn’t all that fond of bodies that can rock skimpy bikinis and prance around in a confident non-jiggling way. Say goodbye to fruits & veggies, and say hello to your new diet, muffin tops!

Melissa Joan Hart Gets Thin – I am so tired of trying to keep track of who is fat and who is thin. Why can’t celebs just pick a size and stick with it! It would be so considerate to the rest of us. If you’ve been thin for a long time like Nicole Ritchie or Kelly Ripa, you will be dubbed as “thin” forever, even if you gain like 20 pounds.  Anyway, Melissa decided to lose her baby weight and People thought, “Hmmm, photographing a bikini-clad celebrity in a before-and-after weight loss story, what a unique idea!”

I, MommyQ, am in my mid-30s with two small children under the age of five. After a day with my spirited, funny, active, goofy, demanding, jumping, leaping, walking, running, throwing, tossing, eating, napping, griping, giggling, smiling, frowning kiddos, I’m exhausted – both physically and emotionally. Again, I’m in my mid-30s. Based on nothing personal about the woman – just math – I think this is a sadly selfish, unethical situation.

When her child is an active toddler, she will be approaching 70-years-old. When her child is ten-years-old, she will be getting close to 80-years-old. It’s simple mathematics. Just because one can do something, doesn’t mean one should. In my silly little opinion, this is completely unfair to the child. I cannot imagine being 30 years older than I am and attempting to raise a newborn. It’s too absurd to even consider.

Adeney might be the best, most loving parent in the world, but the odds are not in her favor to be around for her child’s life. Not to mention, the ew factor is pretty high too. (Having a baby at 66? Ew.)

What do you think MommyQ readers? Is she just another pregnant lady?