Navigating the Wild World of Motherhood
It seems Beyonce spared no expense when it came to her baby girl’s birth. Any why would she? She’s Beyonce. TMZ has released photos of her beautiful hospital suite which costs around $700-$800 per night. A tad expensive, yes, but that’s not an insane amount. Her posse used about four rooms during her stay – evidently her entourage travels with her for her birth – ew. Why? In case she decides to record an album during delivery or needs a sequins bodysuit? Anyway, so four rooms would’ve run her about $3,200. Again, not a big deal when you’re sitting on kabillions of dollars. Click image below to see more of her hospital suite!
So why so much drama about Beyonce’s baby? It really didn’t cost a ton if the above info is correct. Wait, there’s more! On Wed. of this week the NY State Health Department got “complaints from new parents who claim they were mistreated by the staff at Lenox Hill Hospital while Beyonce was giving birth in the VIP room.” The parents who were having babies in the hospital while Bey & Z were there said, “they were neglected by staff and prevented from visiting their newborns … due to the drama surrounding the superstar.” Gee, ya think?
Let me tell you this, had I given birth at my hospital while a HUGE superstar like Beyonce was there, I would’ve delivered my baby myself with a bedpan and a sheet. I’m 1,000 times certain I would’ve been totally ignored. They ignored me most of the time anyway! Talk about ruining a special moment for you and your family. Who cares about your normal, boring baby when BEYONCE and JAYZ are birthing royalty down the hall. Seriously? You know I’m right.
The baby rumors continue to swill about and who knows what’s actually true. All I know is that kid is gonna hear the most unbelievably cool nursery rhymes ever.
No matter how much you boycott the Kardashians or how many petitions you sign, they just keep coming. And not only that, reproducing at a quick pace to ensure their continued world domination, um, I mean survival. On Wednesday, the eldest Kardashian, Kourtney, announced that she and Scott Disick — America’s favorite Vegas-loving, hair-slicking, baby daddy — are expecting bambino numero dos.
Wait, what’s that noise you’re hearing? That would be the sound of “cha-ching” from Burberry, because they get to dress another designer-clad munchkin. Score!
Isn’t it interesting how well-timed her baby news is? It’s almost like her new pregnancy is part of the grand Kardashian marketing plan since she just launched a mom focused web series called Kourtney’s Mommy Blog at E! Online (the very company people have been petitioning to drop Kardashian nonsense.) I guess you aren’t a legit mommy unless you have multiple kids…
Gwyneth Paltrow arrived at the Emmy Awards wearing a 2-piece Pucci. Oh, wait…er, uhm, sorry…that’s actually a one-piece dress. Oh, I get it now. It’s a tummy-baring dress, the epitome of classy. Right. Because when you’re decked out in a gorgeous red carpet gown, you often say to yourself, “This would be magnificent if we were back in 1993 and my mid-drift was exposed.” This dress was as much of a fail as Charlie Sheen’s boring and insanely unfunny apology. He didn’t even toss us a “winning” or mention “tiger blood” or slip into a coma. Come on.
Hadley Freeman said it best, “Paltrow is wearing officially the most ridiculous thing she has ever worn to a fashion ceremony, and that is saying something. It is not only see through but it is a crop top and a high waisted skirt, ie the two most unflattering garments of all time.” Amen, sister.
What do you think? I think it’s hideous. Here’s a link to E! so you can see all of the gowns of the evening.
Image: Steve Granitz/WireImage
The dust has been vacuumed, the dumpster has been removed, our POD has left the driveway and all of our new pals at HGTV’d have moved on to their next project. I hope it involves a few naps, because those folks are worn out! The BIG REVEAL was this past Sunday and my head is still spinning! I keep walking into my ultra-fabulous, posh, functional and sparkling, new rooms and wonder, “Whose house is this?!? It certainly isn’t mine!” I’m still not touching anything out of fear that I may mess up something. Although the fresh flowers are starting to wilt, so I’m going to have to replace them. Even the flowers are cool. I mean, really? These folks are goooood.
I’d like to give a special thanks to four local companies who helped us survive and enjoy this surreal experience:
#1 – Austin Paperhanging for the stunning, precise and perfect job they did hanging all of our new wallpaper. You won’t fully understand until you see the room in person. It’s a HUGE area and DIFFICULT job and they did SUPERBLY. It’s mind boggling.
#2 - Aero Designed Systems who installed our brand new AC unit. Yep, our AC broke right in the middle of filming our episode of HGTV’d. It was about 103 degrees outside too. Aero worked quickly and the customer service was outstanding.
#3 – Let Us Do The Cooking was possibly the highlight of each day. This is a catering company located in Killeen, TX, and they brought us the most mouth-watering, fantastic food I’ve ever eaten. Yes, ever. (Sorry, mom!) The corn casserole was stupendous, the green bean casserole was heavenly, the desserts were insane, the entrees were perfection, etc.
#4 – Central Market made the most beautiful & tasty HGTV’d cake. I had to print the logo from the hotel’s black & white printer, but Central Market was like, we’re so awesome, we’re going to do it with all of the red shades anyway! Not only was it pretty, but also yummy! We walked around with red lips all day and didn’t even care.
I’m not able to post pics of the finished rooms, but tune in for my next post when I finally reveal our celebrity designer.
What do you think? Do you have the guts to be HGTV’d????
First of all, I’m a HUGE fan of the show. In fact, my husband and I both watched it religiously. We totally freaked out when we realized we missed a show last week. But with all of the fabulousness comes some unfabulousness. In honor of my love for this new show, I will point out its flaws. Just like I do with my husband. Think of it as constructive criticism, NBC.
# 10 – Carson Daly’s smug looks. He always smiles like he knows something really funny, but the rest of us aren’t in on the joke. And it’s something like you have a piece of Arugula in your teeth and he’s secretly laughing at you, but he’s not gentleman enough to point it out, leaving you to look like a fool. He’s that kind of smug.
#9 – CeeLo without sunglasses. It’s just too weird to see his eyes. He looks much cooler with glasses, so there should be a rule about that. It’s like he’s a total rockstar with glasses and just a normal guy in strange outfits without them.
#8 – Twitter updates with Alison. I get the whole “let’s incorporate social media into a live to show to make it appear really live” idea, but it doesn’t work quite right. The room likes a telethon or something. To make it more cutting edge, they should talk about the bad tweets referencing Christina’s crimped hair or her big mouth or her intoxicating personality. Remember, what makes social media real is the fact that you can’t control it.
#7 – Not enough Adam Levine. This guy is a total babe in a bad boy/hottie/rockstar way. You now, like Carson wishes he could be. We need to have more one-on-one air time with him. Maybe NBC could do a “Deep Thoughts with Adam Levine” a couple of times per show. He just looks so adorable in his tight little shirts and tight cardigans and skinny jeans. More Adam, NBC. More. Adam.
#6 – Less theatrics on stage. I totally agree with Blake. Those goofball dancers are totally ridiculous and unnecessary. They’re incredibly distracting, just like the absence of CeeLo’s enormous watches. I did like the performance with Vicci and her drummers, but the shadow dancing is way too cheesy. I also thought the Mad Max-inspired duet with CeeLo and Vicci was like an explosion of Velveeta. Serious cheese.
#5 – Christina’s hair. One of my hilarious friends @WendiAarons tweeted this, “Christina Aguilera’s hair is so pretty. I wonder what it’s made from.“ That pretty much sums it up for me. The only thing worse than Christina’s awful hairdos was the stress her boobs must have been feeling, knowing they could be popping out on national TV at any moment. Those braids – the big one on side and the tiny one on the other – forced me into therapy. They looked like alien tendrils and now I have nightmares about them.
#4 – Too many bald women. If there had only been one, it would’ve been totally neat and hip. But with two beautiful bald-headed women battling it out, they kind of killed each others’ thunder. It’s like when my husband and I get ready to go out to dinner and inadvertently wear the same color, looking like the world’s dorkiest couple ever. I can tell him to go change, but Frenchie couldn’t tell Beverly to go grow some hair real quick.
#3 – The way Carson Daly holds a microphone. He looks like a creepy dude trying to choke a …uhm, er…wait a second. Sorry, already griped about him.
#2 - CeeLo without both watches. In addition to the sunglasses, he should have to wear two diamond encrusted watches at all times. I saw him with one on each wrist in one show, so it was distracting to see him without them. I was thinking,” Poor CeeLo. Is he having financial trouble? Where’s the other watch. Did he pawn it? I’m worried about CeeLo, gosh darn it. Is he okay? CeeLo!?!”
#1 – Lack of a tacky trophy. With all of the glitter, sequins, shadow dancing, costumes and alien tendrils, there should’ve been a huge trophy presented to the winner. How do you know you’ve won something unless you get a crazy, horrific, worthless trophy in the shape of The Voice hand-with-microphone? The first thing that should go through your head after wining is, “Holy crap! I won!” The second is, “Where am I going to put this awful thing?”
In all honesty though, a huge congrats to Javier Colon. I honestly believe he has won the toughest singing competition ever. His duet with Stevie Nicks was epic. Dia Frampton is a stunning, unbelievable star too. My heartfelt congrats to them both! Until next season…
As a woman who appreciates taking risks with fashion, I’d like to make a quick comment about the continual celebrity wardrobe malfunctions involving a
voluntaryinvoluntary flash of nipple AKA nip slip AKA shirt and/or dress fail. First of all, I’m not talking about the ones that happen in a bathing suit. I don’t think they count. Wearing a bikini is tricky business, especially if you take a dip in the ocean with fully functioning waves. Or if you have young children.
My son accidentally pulled my bikini top down at the pool once and it took me a few seconds to realize what happened. Had I been a celebrity, that would’ve been TMZ homepage material for sure. I probably had a scowl on my face and my hair was in a bad ponytail. Had it been captured on film, it would’ve been an “Antarctica sounds like a fun place to live” kind of moment. I’m talking about this….Oh, and why in the world is she squeezing into the dress like it’s a sausage casing. Huh?
I’m talking about non-drunk moments when celebrities other than Pam Anderson, Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton pick out an outfit that costs more than your car, wear it and still suffer from nip slips. This makes zero sense to me. I think they’re all planned. Shame on you, Milla Jovovich, Janet Jackson, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Keira Knightley, Martha Stewart, Oprah, Brett Favre, Anthony Weiner…whew, I’m getting tired.
Seriously, how can you not know your nipple will be or is currently exposed? What celebs and their stylists fail to recognize is there are, in fact, multiple solutions to
planned stageddreaded wardrobe malfunctions. 5 Surefire Ways to End Nip Slips:
#1 – Use toupee tape or electrical tape or duct tape. It’s sticky. Really? I don’t think I need to explain tape.
#2 – Stop wearing ill-fitting outfits. If your try on a dress and your boobs are instantly hanging out, the dress does not fit. Don’t buy it. End of story.
#3 – Wear a bra. If you’re going on national television, about to strut your stuff in front of millions of viewers, drop the “I like being natural bit,” get your skinny butt into Victoria Secret and buy a bra. Then, after you purchase it, take it out of the pretty bag and put it on under your outfit. This goes for strapless dresses too, Jessica Simpson.
#4 – Use a safety pin. Wow, this is so genius. I bought a box of safety pins five years ago and it’s still 90% full. One tiny safety pin can do the trick. You can pick a silver one or a gold one if you’re feeling fancy.
#5 - Don’t tweet about it. What’s even worse than seeing Khloe Kardashian’s nipple on a morning show is how much she tweeted about it. See one of her nip slip tweets below. No, they aren’t that special. Trust me.
My apologies to those of you who are reading my blog based on my previous blog post. I know you were expecting something heartfelt and you got this instead. Welcome to my brain. You never know what’s going to spill out.
Images: The Frisky and TMZ
It’s one of my favorite times of year – AWARD SHOWS! Oddly enough I rarely watch the actual show, but I do love me some Red Carpet fashion. At the Golden Globes this year, what many consider the precursor to the Oscars, Hollywood’s most beautiful moms are shining brighter than ever. We’re seeing a bit more black than usual at this event, but you’ll see lots of pink. You know, one of the “in” colors for 2011. Let’s see which mommies are wearing it best and which ones are strutting their own unique style…
Pregnant mom-to-be Natalie Portman is glowing in this beautiful pink gown. I love seeing her look like the opposite of her psychotic Black Swan persona. Yikes, that was unsettling. I’ll never look at a hangnail the same again.
Proud mama and timeless beauty Nicole Kidman looks stunning in this neutral dress. I wish she had a few more curves – like 20 pounds worth – but she still looks amazing. Her cutie hubby Keith Urban is probably wishing her heels were a bit lower though.
Boogie nights, one, Julianne. I love the fact that Julianne Moore went for hot pink. I love the contrast with her red hair and, of course, the nude shoes. I’m a sucker for nude shoes with bright colored dresses.I’m sure Joan Rivers will have something bad to say about it, but I give two thumbs up!
Jane Krakowski poses with her growing baby bump in a gorgeous light blue gown. I love how the style of the dress accentuates her curves and her wonderful statement earrings. Pink is for suckers, perhaps? This mommy thinks so.
America’s favorite mommy, Sandra Bullock, is pulling a Khloe Kardashian by giving us a new hairdo for the Golden Globes. I’m guessing she didn’t actually cut bangs for real… I think those are fake. She looks beautiful in this nude-tone dress with delicate embellishment. Oddly enough, Ryan Reynold’s ex, Scarlett Johansson, showed up to the Globes in a lookalike gown. Ouch, that’s awkward.
Fave – Rowdy in Red
I actually saw the tweet about Kloe’s big change from her sister, Kim, on Twitter. She said something about Kloe debuting a new look for last night’s People’s Choice Awards. I didn’t even have to change the channel to know what the new do was all about. Thanks, Twitter! It seems one Kardashian sister is stepping out of the velvety world of brunette and into the fun realm of red-head. Above is a pic of her new sassy self in a gray, floor length Alexander McQueen gown.
Fave – Thinking Pink
These gals and award winners, Taylor Swift (Famous Country Artist Award Winner) and Selena Gomez (Favorite Breakout Artist Award Winner) both wore one of the hot new colors for 2011 – pink! Doesn’t it crack you up when people say “new” color? Who makes these decisions? Anyway, both gals were spotted looking gorgeous in muted shades of pale pink. The only thing missing from Selena’s outfit was a famous hand on her booty…and that would be the hand of Bieber himself, her new bf. You’ve seen these pics, right?
Flub – Vampires & Wolves Can Get Along
This Twilight trio, Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner, shared an awkward almost-hug-turned-pat-on-the-back after beating out ‘Inception’ and ‘Iron Man 2′ for the Best Movie Award. I don’t know about you, but I’m still not totally getting this Twilight thing. And I’m a huge fan of vampire lore. Twilight is over…next!
Raven Flies the Coop
Oh no she didn’t! I’m sorry, but this outfit is totally wrong for That’s So Raven star, Raven Symone. I get it. She’s 25 now, no longer the little cutie on The Cosby Show. But this is too dark, evil, Lady Gaga-esque for me. Is she making a statement? Yes. If that statement is I’m a dominatrix headed to a Stevie Nicks concert.
And the Winner is…
Favorite Movie: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Favorite Movie Actor: Johnny Depp
Favorite Movie Actress: Kristen Stewart
Favorite Action Movie: Iron Man 2
Favorite Action Star: Jackie Chan
Favorite Drama Movie: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Favorite Family Movie: Toy Story 3
Favorite Comedy Movie: Grown Ups
Favorite Comedic Star: Adam Sandler
Favorite On Screen Team: The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner)
Favorite Movie Star Under 25: Zac Efron
Favorite Horror Movie: A Nightmare on Elm Street
Favorite TV Drama: House
Favorite TV Drama Actor: Hugh Laurie
Favorite TV Drama Actress: Lisa Edelstein
Favorite TV Comedy: Glee
Favortie TV Comedy Actor: Neil Patrick Harris
Favorite TV Comedy Actress: Jane Lynch
Favorite Competition Show: American Idol
Favorite TV Crime Drama: Lie to Me
Favorite TV Crime Fighter: Tim Roth
Favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy Show: Fringe
Favorite Talk Show Host: Conan O’Brien
Favorite TV Obsession: Dexter
Favorite TV Guilty Pleasure: Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Favorite TV Guest Star: Demi Lovato (Grey’s Anatomy)
Favorite TV Doctor: Gregory House (Hugh Laurie)
Favorite TV Family: The Simpsons (The Simpsons)
Favorite Family TV Movie: Camp Rock 2: The Final Jam
Favorite TV Chef: Rachael Ray
Favorite New TV Drama: Hawaii Five-O
Favorite New TV Comedy: $#*! My Dad Says
Favorite Male Artist: Eminem
Favorite Female Artist: Katy Perry
Favorite Song: “Love The Way You Lie” (Eminem featuring Rihanna)
Favorite Rock Band: Paramore
Favorite Breakout Artist: Selena Gomez & the Scene
Favorite Pop Artist: Rihanna
Favorite Country Artist: Taylor Swift
Favorite R&B Artist: Usher
Favorite Hip-Hop Artist: Eminem
Favorite Music Video: “Love The Way You Lie” (Eminem featuring Rihanna)
Favorite Online Sensation: Katy Perry
Favorite Viral Video Star: Tarp Surfing