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Why Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions Are Lame
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It’s my favorite time of the year – New Year’s resolution time! The motivation, the lies, the despair. Who doesn’t love making resolutions, only to break them within a few hours? Thanks to the folks at USA.gov, we know the Top 10 most popular New Year’s resolutions. Let’s take a look and see if they make sense. Feel free to share your 2010 resolutions with MommyQ!
1. – Lose Weight - Surprise, surprise. Now I realize there are people who make this resolution and stick to it – like 6%. Good for you! But if you’re really and truly overweight, why would you wait until the first of the year to do something about it? Why not skip the McDonald’s drive-thru in July or October? Omit those morning donuts in April. You can avoid the crowded gyms if you don’t start going with the rest of the fatties in January.
2. – Get Fit - Yes, if you go see Nine you will want to get fit ASAP. There is just something alluring about body parts that don’t jiggle and abs that don’t wiggle. If this is an item on your list for 2010, start small and work your way up. Focus on two areas at a time and then add a new one. By the end of the year, you will be able to do Bowflex commercials.
3. – Manage Debt – 2010 might not be the best year to do this one. Google “economy” for a lengthy explanation.
4. – Save Money – See resolution #3
5. – Get a Better Job -This is a myth because there is no such thing. All jobs are the same. You might make more money initially, but after a few months in a cubicle you will want a new job. You won’t like your boss, you’ll want more vacation time, you will get annoyed by your colleagues, etc. Just do yourself a favor and stay where you are. The grass isn’t greener. (I love all of my jobs, but I’m just extremely lucky!)
6. – Get A Better Education – This is a GREAT resolution. In fact, not lame at all. This is far more important than losing weight or getting fit. Go back to school and help us rid society of idiots. Lord knows we have way too many of them.
7. – Drink Less Alcohol – I find this to be quite ludicrous. Why drink less when you can drink more? If you want to avoid resolutions and feel good about yourself, start drinking. Happy drunks rarely worry about dropping a dress size. Drink away your worries and problems like the rest of the world. Who needs to go the gym at night when there’s a perfectly good bottle of wine in the fridge?
8. – Quit Smoking Now - Yes, by all means! I don’t smoke and never have, but I know it’s a bad habit that needs to be broken. Try the patch or go get hypnotized. Whatever you need to do. Remember, by cutting out this resolution you can achieve #4 and pursue #7.
9. – Reduce Stress – Good luck with this one. See resolution #2. If that doesn’t work try #7.
10. – Take A Trip – This is a Top 10 resolution? Are you kidding me? I haven’t been in an empty airport lately, the interstates boast plenty of traffic and hotels seems busy. Doesn’t that mean people are taking trips. If you aren’t at home, you’ve gotta be somewhere.
Wishing all of my readers the best, most glorious & prosperous year ever! Thanks for joining me as I navigate the wild world of motherhood. You make the journey fun and worth all of the effort! ~MQ
Published on December 30, 2009 · Filed under: Humor & Perspective

