For most of my life I have been the poster child for bad hair. It’s not that my hair isn’t healthy or decent, it’s the fact that I never knew how to style it until I reached my mid-20s.  Trust me, if I posted photos of the various hair disasters I have sported over the years, this blog would be an overnight success. Unfortunately, I am not man enough or woman enough to go that route for publicity. To make this less painful for everyone, I will categorize my downfall. Welcome to my hair nightmare!

Uneven Bangs
It all started back when I was in elementary school. My first foray into the bad hair lifestyle was uneven bangs. Bless her heart because she meant well, but my mom consistently cut my bangs an inch too short and totally uneven. A week later, nobody could really tell. But since these infamous bang trims always occurred the night before Picture Day, these lopsided moments were captured on film – FOREVER.

Perms
In the fifth grade I discovered that sleeping with my hair in braids gave me this big, frizzy, kinky hair the next day. It was awesome! Over time, my mom and her poor tired fingers got tired of braiding my hair hair every night ,so I started begging for the next logical step. A perm!!!!

Perms Continued
My first perm was quite a milestone in my bad hair diary. I still remember gagging on the stinging, stinky, highly toxic solution they used back then. I held a hand towel over my mouth and nose while the perm processed because the fumes made me sick. After the watering eyes subsided and my new ringlets were dried, I had the huge, puffy, curly hair I had always wanted. It was heaven. Needless to say I permed my hair for many years after that. Then I cut it all off.

Rat Tail
This is when I officially deserved the title of ‘bad hair’ because I cut my hair super-short and had one loooong strand in the back. Yes, folks! MommyQ had a rat tail. It was even a few shades lighter than the rest of my hair. I had this hair style in the seventh grade and it rocked. Other kids were jealous of my rat tail. And my Hunt Club jeans, parachute pants and faux Member’s Only jacket. I also had a killer black pleather skirt that I wore with turquoise opaque tights. Oh, yeah. I was a fashion nightmare.

A Rainbow of Colors
My final faux pa happened when I realized you could buy hair color in a box. I did bright red for a long time and then switched it up by turning my hair into a wacky shade of blondish-red that does not exist in nature. One time I actually had spots in my hair, a debacle resulting in 6 hours at the hair salon in JCPenney, on a Sunday, trying to get it all back to one color.

CHI Flat Iron
Thanks goodness for the invention of the CHI Flat Iron! It saved me from a lifetime of hairstyle don’ts! I can’t even remember my life pre-CHI, but I know it wasn’t pretty. Thank you, CHI Flat Iron for heating up to an insanely hot temperature that people should never have near their heads, eyes or ears. Your ceramic plates are my hair saviour!