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In an attempt to keep up with today’s news story about the unfortunate missing plane, I went to FOX News online. Oh, what a mistake. First of all, this site is not about news at all. It’s about sensational stories – the weirder, scarier and sexier, the better. See for yourself. Here are the headlines in today’s so-called Health News:

1. 101-Year-Old Smoker Urges Others Not to Pick Up Habit
2. Dentist Saves Teen From Heart Attack
3. Man Bets on His Life Expectancy, Wins $16G
4. Florida Woman Loses Arms, Legs After Misdiagnosis
5. Hospital Apologizes for Mom’s C-Section Death
6. Which Major League Ballpark Is Selling Grapes Alongside Peanuts and Beer?
7. Contact Lens Maker Pays 600 Who Suffered Infections
8. FOXSexpert: Sex Terms Missing From the English Language
9. Coincidence? Fewer People Depressed After FDA Antidepressant Warning
10. Report: Swine Flu Eyed in Death of New York Baby
11. Woman Holds Body Weight With Mouth for 33 Seconds
12. Scientists: ‘Tomato in a Pill’ Might Lower Cholesterol
13. 2-Lb. Tumor Removed From Baby’s Face
14. Tennis Star to Have DD Breasts Reduced
15. 66-Year-Old Gives Birth to 5-Lb. Baby Boy

Note to self: Do NOT rely on FOX News for “real” news.